You met her. The two of you hit it off quite nicely. You may have even had a couple dates. Now you’re just itchen to get her to your place. So you make the invitation and she accepts. But remember, her first visit to your home can set the tone for any future visit. So unless you really don’t want her to ever return, you should make sure you’ve got your bases covered. Presented here is a list of the six things you should always remember when preparing for a dinner date at your place.
As she enters your home, everything her five senses take in during that first few moments will not only set the tone for the rest of the evening, it will also help her decide where the date will end. So put some effort into how your home presents to this newcomer. Clean up, dust, clean the floors, and never have a pile of dishes in the sink. Clean the bathroom… including the tub or shower. Your bedroom should be clean, with clean sheets and nice foo-foo-smelly stuff like scented candles or potpourri. Have the table set before she gets there. Pleasant ambient music should be playing but never too loud as to overpower.
Take down those pictures of your ex. Put your collection of porn away and out of sight. Don’t have an assortment of condoms proudly displayed on your nightstand. And please-oh-please get all those geek toys in a box and hidden away at the back of your closet. You may love that Bat-signal of yours but trust us… even if she shows interest in such things, she will be secretly laughing at you. Unless of course she happens to be a geek too.
An emergency out
Lets face it, even if you like this chick, even if you’d give up your left nut to be in her company for an evening, there are always those moments when you think to yourself, “Self, we need to put an end to this evening and get this crazy woman out of here.”
Have a friend at the ready to bail you out should you need it. A good way to do this is to always keep your cell phone with you (set to silent). If you need to exercise your rescue, politely excuse yourself to “use the restroom.” While there text your friend and give the signal that says, “Get your ass over here and help me get rid of this woman.” We’ll leave the HOW to you. Just have this ready in case you need to use it.
Munchies and drinkables
Preparing dinner is a big part of the entertainment. You’ll be animated and lookin good, but busy while you bounce around your kitchen. Even if you do a lot of your prep before she gets there, you will be spending time doing your thing while she’s there. You need to have something for her while you’re doing that. Make sure you always have these things available and at your fingertips.
- Drinkables. Have at lease one white and one red wine ready. Keep beer in the fridge in case she’s more into that than wine. And yes, keep non-alcoholic beverages available too.
- Munchies. Cheese and crackers, sliced fruits, chips-n-dip, or one of your favorite appetizers. That sort of thing. It doesn’t have to be a big deal and it should never be something that will fill her up or weigh her down (remember why you wanted her at your place). You only need to provide something that will keep her eyes, hands, and mouth busy while you’re cooking it up.
Your place looks great. Hell maybe even great enough to make your mom proud. The munchies and drinks did the trick. Nice music is playing and your date is diggin it all as the two of you sit to have that wonderful meal you’ve just prepared. Then screeching beaks reverberate in your head while an awkward silence fills the place like a time-altering, mind-numbing third person (who doesn’t say a lot). Be ready to talk about current events, your interests, her interests, your crazy neighbor. Because nothing is worse than silence. It’s been said a man should always have at least three good jokes and three good toasts at the ready. Think about that.
Some conversational don’ts.
- Never discuss your ex. If your date brings her up, never refer to her in a negative context. But never refer to her in such a positive context your current date feels she needs to compete.
- If you’re into a variety of farm animals or have some other weird sexual proclivity it’s probably best not to reveal those up front. And to be perfectly honest, if you do have such strange inclinations, we really have no idea what to tell you, except to suggest you keep that to yourself for the present.
- Do not discuss your political or religious views. Because it doesn’t matter what your position is on one thing or another, it will always come with the very real potential of pissing-off your date. If she brings it up though, don’t decline the subject. Just keep it light until you’ve learned her views on such things.
- Never reveal desperation. Much the same way a dog can smell fear, a woman can smell desperation. And that is likely the number one date-killer ever.
Bathroom supplies for her
Okay so, if a woman arrives at your place with a toothbrush and clean pair of panties in her purse, it’s a strong indicator she was already prepared to spend the night. But it will also reveal that she was prepared to spend the night. And women are loath to look like a woman who’s prepared to spend the night. Get it?
On the other hand, if you have a single, brand new toothbrush set aside for her – just n case – it will look like YOU were prepared for her to spend the night. And women don’t like that either. Nevertheless, have an extra toothbrush, tooth paste, soap, shampoo, lotion, and clean towels set aside (out of sight) and at the ready should you actually succeed in motivating her to join you in a slumber party for two.
The morning after is just as important as everything else. Have stuff for a light breakfast available. Eggs, bacon or sausage, cereal, milk, coffee, OJ etc. These are all a part of your basic list of staples but you need to be sure to have them available should you get up and realize you’re lucky enough to have a breakfast companion. All the above rules apply for the breakfast meal too.
None of this is hard or unreasonable. But it pays off in great ways if you manage to do it right. If you did everything well you will be making breakfast for two, and will be receiving an invitation to her place in the very near future. Or perhaps better stated, if you blow this stuff like some newbie, you will likely seal that as being your first and last dinner date at your place with this fine lady. Don’t f..k it up.